


Play it cool, play it Gay

by HungryLibrary



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Crack, F/F, First posted to Tumblr, Monsters and Mana, Silly, dm coran ships it, how to flirt via alien dnd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 13:57:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17408168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HungryLibrary/pseuds/HungryLibrary
Summary: Lance was staring down at the holo map.More specifically, he was squinting at the two figurines of Allura and Pidge’s Monsters and Mana characters, which happened to be and Elf and a Dwarf, and which were standing really, really close together.Just like they usually were. Scratch that- just like theyalwayswere.“Is it just me.” Lance asked, looking up at the genius gremlin and the beautiful yet slightly terrifying space princess.“Or is all you two do in this game just fighting monsters and flirting with each other?”





	Play it cool, play it Gay

Allura blinked at him.

“Is it?”

She frowned from her new spot across the table, a spot she’d gradually migrated to over the last few sessions. A spot that just so happened to be right next to Pidge, by now so close their elbows touched whenever they moved. 

“I’m afraid I’ve been rather caught up in the role playing and haven’t kept track.” The princess admitted. She glanced questioningly over at Pidge. “Do we really...?”

Pidge gave a carelessly shrug. 

“It’s pretty much all Meklavar and Valayun do, yeah.”

“Ah.”

Lance shared a look with Hunk and Shiro. 

There had been nothing at all careless in that careless shrug. The way Pidge’s glassed were suddenly slipping down the bridge of her nose from sweat said as much- And the very careful use of the MnM character names had been a dead giveaway too. 

Or at least it was a dead giveaway to Earthings. 

Allura turned away apparently without noticing anything and sent her next question to the table at large.

“I’ve been having quite some fun with this but, is our way of playing becoming a problem? I that why you brought it up, Lance?”

All eyes landed on Lance. One pair landed with killing intent. 

He froze.

“Uhhh-”

Pidge’s hand slipped under the table. It reappeared a second later, now holding her Bayard.

The sight was enough to make Lance’s leg muscles spasm with phantom pain.

“-uuuhhh uh! Nope! No problem here!”

He forced himself to grin cheerfully at Allura and definitely NOT look at the tiny little weapon of pure evil or the piece of alien tec clutched in her painfully accurate fist.

“It’s great! It’s good! I’m glad you gays-” Pidge’s Bayard silently charged up. “-GUYS I SAID YOU  _GUYS!!_  I’M JUST REALLY GLAD YOU TWO ARE HAVING FUN AND STUFF FOR ONCE! YEAH! WHOO HOO, GO MEKVALA!!!”

There was a moment of complete silence.

Allura was staring at Lance as if seriously wondering about his healthy and sanity. Hunk was folded over the back of the couch, shoulders shaking, probably not actually rummaging around for more snacks. Shiro was studying his tenth Paladin’s inventory but doing it with a very suspicious smile on his face.

Pidge held Lance’s eyes for a long moment. Then very slowly, very reluctantly, she deactivated her Bayard and tucked it back out of sight.

“... Okay.” Allura said finally, clearly not knowing how to answer an outburst like that. “I’m glad we cleared that up?”

A sharp cracking sound made Lance squeak and jump in his seat. 

But no murderous space sister pounced upon him. It was just Coran, gloved hand clasped together from when he’d clapped them.

“Yes, yes, very good!” Their Lore Master said jovially. 

“Now if we’re through with all that- Number Five, it’s your Dwarf Warrior’s turn again! Remember, you’ve just finished landing the killing blow on the dreaded Flesh Eating Flower of Dumenkrug. What do you want to do next?”

“Hmm.”

Adjusting her glasses Pidge eyed the holo map seriously. 

“Are the rest of the flowers in the field still there, or did they vanish when the F.E.F. died?” 

“There still there.” Coran confirmed.

“Great.” Pidge nodded and nudged her character’s figurine further into the field.

“I- Err-  _Meklavar_ uses her axe to cut some flowers and make a bouquet for Valayun.”

Lance suppressed the urge to fake-vomit. He glowered at Hunk, now more than half way over the couch and safely out of sight, and then turned his glower on Shiro, who seemed honestly touched by the stomach-turning sugary crap they were being forced to listen to. 

Allura, of course, beamed down at Pidge with honest-to-Voltron real delight. 

“Oh that’s so sweet!” She gushed. “Thank you! I accept the flower and braid some of them into a crown to decorate Pi- Meklavar’s helmet with.”

“Wait!” Coran broke in eagerly.

“Roll the die and add your Charisma bonus!”

Allura did as told, looking puzzled.

“Now you!” The Lore Master jabbed a finger at Pidge. “The same thing as her. Go ahead now, let’s see your roll.”

“Sure..?” Pidge picked up the die and tossed it, just as lost as the princess sitting next to her. 

Coran looked at her roll. He smirked under his mustache.

“Well, well, well... Meklavar... you feel a rush of affection for Valayun unlike anything you’ve ever felt before.” 

Pidge and Allura exchanged a glance and then hurriedly looked away. 

“It’s inescapable, immutable, all consuming-” Coran went on. “You cannot fight against it, partly in due to the fact that you don’t want to. You want the feeling to last forever. You  _need_ it to last forever. You feel as if your heart might burst if the feeling were to fade. And so.” He said, voice slowing a deepening impressively. 

“You find yourself taking Valayun’s hand in yours, and getting down on one knee-”

“WHAT!?” 

Pidge leaped up, bright red already rushing to her cheeks. 

_BANG!_

“-AAAUGH!!!”

There was a nasty smack as her knees slammed full force into the underside of the holo table. Everyone winced.

“ _Pidge!_ ”

Everyone winced, but Allura actually yelped as if  _she’d_  been the one to do herself accidental and non-serious but incredibly painful and embarrassing harm. At any other moment Pidge probably would have appreciated that. 

Right now though Pidge just keeled over the table and lay there, eyes wide and expression blank, glasses askew, every last speck of color draining back out of her face.

... It probably wasn’t the nicest thing to do, considering they were friends and teammates and basically family.

But Lance couldn’t help it. 

And he couldn’t stop laughing, not even when he was picked up by an irately worried space princess and tossed bodily from the room. 

Sitting on his new bruised butt several meters away from the firmly shut door, Lance laughed and laughed until he was crying. His only regret, at the end of the day, was that he hadn’t had a camera. 


End file.
